It’s been years

I’ve not logged onto Niko’s site in years…. YEARS. I pay for it every year because it’s special to me. Our journey is here… our story.

It’s been 5,380 days since Niko left me. I adopted 2 kitties later that year… Cameron and Jasper. Cameron passed away in 2022. He was the first companion since Niko that I had to make that decision for… and it was at the emergency vet. I can do hard things. I’ve done them before… I did it again and I’ll have to do it several more times.

In 2010 I adopted Chance… who just turned 14 yesterday. He’s got some major illnesses now, but he’s still here, for a bit longer.

In 2011 I adopted Hayley. My first dog since Niko. She brought him back to life for me and we’ve had the best 13 years together so far. She’s been an inspiration in so many ways… her joy and passion for all things fun. Her playfulness and flirtatious side. We retired from agility in 2020 after she won at UKI Nationals in 2019, ending our amazing agility career. Now we do long walks and enjoy flirting with young shelties. At 15, we know our time is short, but we are happy.

Jasper is my ‘healthiest’ senior with only minor ailments. I feel like it’ll just be me and him one day.

So much has changed in the last 15 years since Niko left. I am a completely different person for one. I have no idea where life will take me next… and balancing 3 senior animals has me struggling. They are worth it though.

I’m sorry for all the comments I’ve not replied to in the last few years. I feel sad that I missed opportunities to provide comfort. I am happy that some of you, however, found comfort in things on this site. We are so lucky to share unconditional love with our furry companions.

Maybe I’ll write more here… when I lose another one. Maybe there is not much more to share. I’ll feel it out.

I still miss Niko… all the time. I still think of him and remember him. Sometimes he blends in with Hayley and that makes me smile. He’ll never be lost. We never lose them. They will always live on inside us.

1992-2009

“Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too.
I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.
All I have are memories and a picture in a frame.”

Thank you for visiting Niko’s site which will continue to be a work in progress. I have put this site together for two reasons. First and foremost,  as a tribute to my wonderful friend, Niko, to share his story and our journey. At the time of his death, nearly half of my life  had been spent loving this incredible being, and I don’t want to forget any memory of him. It has been a long road, getting used to life after Niko. The world is a little darker place, but my life is better for having known such a great love.

The second reason for this site didn’t become clear until mid 2010. Grief has taught me compassion. No one should feel alone when faced with a major loss, but often society and loved ones do not know how to react to grief – especially pet loss. It makes them uncomfortable or they just don’t understand. I want to extend a hand to all those faced with such heartache. I want them to feel they are not alone, and their feelings are normal. Validation can mean so much during a time of despair. It means a lot to me to know this site has helped comfort someone, if only in the smallest way.

Niko's most 'famous' portrait - taken in April 2008, under a weeping cherry tree

Just a Dog

by Richard Biby, Tulsa, Oklahoma

From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a dog,” or, “that’s a lot of money for just a dog.” They don’t understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for “just a dog.”

Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog.” Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a dog,” but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by “just a dog,” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “just a dog” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” then you will probably understand phases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.” “Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. “Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.

Because of “just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future. So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog” but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

“Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not “just a dog” but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “just a human.”

So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog.” just smile, because they “just don’t understand.”